On the Rocks
With the holiday season now in the rear-view mirror, I can safely say I’ve come through it unscathed. Well, mostly unscathed. My wallet may have a different opinion, but the rest of me managed to survive the traditional holiday barrage of F-bombs – you know, food, fun and fermented beverages. Those are the bombs you often can’t avoid, and they’ll leave you comatose right through to Groundhog Day.
Gone are the days when I could eat way too much shortbread then wash it down with a litre of spiked eggnog – and that was just breakfast. I’d carry on and the rest of the day would be a full-on assault of my internal infrastructure. Somehow, I always managed to bounce back, none the worse for wear. But as I get older, it’s a different story. Forget the rum & eggnog, I can barely enjoy a couple of beers without paying a price. And it’s not the cash I’m talking about, it’s my ability to function the next day. See, alcohol not only contributes to my beer belly, but it messes with a host of other systems including sleep and the functioning of my gut. Leaving me to wonder, “Is this worth it?”
Truthfully, alcohol and I have a checkered history. Kind of a love/hate thing. In fact, we’re separated right now and I’m filing for divorce citing irreconcilable differences. Oh, I’ve tried to make it work. In the end we’re too far gone. I like alcohol, but it doesn’t like me. It insists on making me sick after we’re together too much. So how did I celebrate without it this year? Simple. I traded one fermented beverage for another. Take that, booze you’re outta here!
Since alcohol just messes me up, I needed to find a new date to take to the party. Now, nothing says ‘boring guy’ like working a room with a glass of water in hand – or worse – ‘old man’ cradling a cuppa tea. I can’t drink coffee past noon anymore so it’s out. Sodas are full of sugar so that’s a hard no. I thought about switching to diet coke, and I do the odd time, but there’s something about artificial sweeteners that worries me. In fact, I had one doctor caution me to stay away from them. That’s when I found her, a hot date that pushes all my buttons.
She’s a tangy number with the right amount of sweetness and sparkle. Originally from China she’s now known all over the world. This hottie is a fermented beverage – a healthy one this time – and her name is kombucha (Oh, how exotic).
Kombucha is surprisingly delicious for something that’s made from tea, sugar and a blob-like substance called SCOBY – short for symbiotic colony of bacteria and yeast. If that doesn’t sound yummy, I don’t know what does. But…a colony of bacteria, yeast and sugar? How can that possibly be good for you?
Well, kombucha, or “booch” as the cool kids call it, has all the health benefits of the green, oolong or black tea from which it’s brewed. The fermentation process burns off the sugar and creates extra nutrients like Vitamin B, acetic acid and probiotics for starters. But wait, it gets better, see this bevy has only about 5 calories (the brand I drink has zero calories so buh-bye beer belly) and is loaded with antioxidants which helps me detox. So, rather than drinking something that fights against me, kombucha works for me. Among other things, kombucha boosts my microbiome and eliminates free radicals that damage cells, contribute to inflammation and mess with my body’s ability to function. It’s like my insides are having a spa day while the outside me parties the night away.
Kombucha is generally made from various types of tea but if that makes you gag don’t sweat it – booch is made with all sorts of ingredients to change its taste. Numerous fruits and seasonings are added to create a host of different Kombucha flavors. In fact, I’m sipping on a type of Kombucha that’s made from apple cider vinegar and ginger – sounds gross but it’s delicious. So don’t turn your nose up at it before you try it. Remember nobody ever took their first slug of scotch and immediately said, “Oh, please keep that coming”. No, they had to work up to it. Booze is an acquired taste. Not only does Kombucha taste good but when you combine it with all its health benefits well, it’s a win-win.
When it comes to health benefits Kombucha wins hands down. For instance, the variety that’s made from green tea is one of the best since green tea drinkers are also known to have lower risks of developing cancer and heart disease. It can help regulate blood sugar and insulin levels which is good for everyone but particularly for people with type 2 diabetes. It helps balance your metabolism an important factor if you’re trying to burn calories and lose weight. And because it’s filled with gut-friendly bacteria, it boosts the microbiome helping with digestion and your immune system. Finally, Kombucha is known to lower bad cholesterol and boost good cholesterol – so take that to heart!
If you’re going to drink kombucha, there’s a few things to look for. You want to choose a raw, unpasteurized brand without added sugar – always check the label because there are plenty of posers on the market. The raw and unpasteurized bit gives you most of the health benefits. As for the added sugar, well, there’s a reason they say sugar is the new smoking – it’s bad for you. But even too much of a good thing can be bad so watch how much kombucha you drink because it’s carbonated and if you put away too much, you’ll be bloated and burping the alphabet all night. There’s also trendy boozy booch available but by adding alcohol you’re basically taking one step forward and two steps back. So, stick with the alcohol and sugar free versions.
Finally, it is possible to make your own Kombucha. However, it is tricky, and if you’re not careful these DIY versions can make you sick. So don’t look to me for guidance here. Bacteria and yeast are usually a bi-product of my cooking and not in a good way. But with luck my wallet will have recovered from the holidays, and I’ll be able to stick to the store-bought variety – keeping everyone safe. So, at your next party or event bring a booch or if you happen to see one there, walk over and say, “Hey, do you Kombucha here often”. (Booo!)