One trick Zombie.

I am hobbled.   I’m stiff, I’m sore and I’m suffering.  I move like something out of the Walking Dead.  Actually, I’ve never seen a single episode of the Walking Dead, but I know it’s about the zombie apocalypse and I’m walking like I imagine a zombie would walk.   In fact, I’m walking like an older zombie who’s over trained in a single sport, perhaps brain eating or something such.   This is my state – over trained, aging, hobbled, zombie walker.  Picture that.

How did I get to this point?  It is the result of being a one trick pony or in this case a one trick zombie.  (Side note:  One Trick Zombie will be the name of my new band if it isn’t already taken and if someday by chance, I learn to play an instrument.)   You see for the last number of months I’ve run – I’ve run a lot.   In truth I’ve done nothing but run.   Some days I’ve gone for two runs.   No, I’m not fleeing the law but there is reason behind this exercise madness.   You see I’m the owner of a GSP (German Shorthair Pointer) a breed of dog so energetic you should be licensed to own one.  This breed has one mode – GO FAST.   These lovable goofballs need to walk/run a ton, or you can expect trouble – big trouble.   You see if they don’t burn off some of the excess energy, they’re going to find a way to do it.   More than likely, they’ll burn it off in your house which means unpotting your potted snake plant or digging hole in your down comforter, or even inexplicably getting into 5 lbs of flour that will be all over everything everywhere.  Needless to say, a run/walk is a much more productive activity for a GSP and its owner.

Another reason I’ve been running so much is my new home.   Actually, it isn’t the house but the new area – it’s not you, it’s me.   As a way to get to know people I joined a running group in the nearby town.   It’s a fantastic group of people and we run 3 days a week.  I’ve enjoyed it – even if they all run too fast.   However, I still have the GSP as mentioned above, who still needs to burn off an excess of energy despite my plans.   Hitherto my dilemma of two runs a day.  And yes, I could walk but why walk when you can run?

Add to this mix a fanaticism with running, one that verges on addiction, and you have a recipe for zombie walking.   Either that or I’m part GSP?

What’s wrong with me?  (I’ll only address the physical ailments as the psychological would take us way too deep in the weeds!)  Running so much has caused an overuse injury in my right knee.   Compensating for the discomfort, caused my back to go out of alignment.  So that gives me the cliché zombie shuffle – dragging one leg while slightly hunched over.   Add a little drool and Walking Dead here I come.

The lesson in all this isn’t the excess running – I can handle that kind of milage – rather it’s the lack of anything else that would help balance my body.  See I haven’t been doing things I know I should be doing – other activities that help keep me in alignment and not walk like a zombie.   For instance, I’ve hardly done any stretching or Yoga over the last few months.   Keeping limber ensures I won’t have one leg tighter than the other which in turn pulls my back out of alignment – see everything is connected.   I also haven’t been doing any strength training.  Running strengthens the muscles I use for running but I don’t use all my muscles running.   Therefore, my body is left in an unbalanced state – the running muscles too strong and all the others weak.  The body likes balance and as such it revolts until it finds its equilibrium.    My body has gone full riot.

The stupid thing about all this is that I know better.   I’ve been like the little kid who wants to eat all his Halloween candy in one night and then can’t figure out why he feels so sick.   Yes, dear reader the kid dressed up like a zombie and I am suffering from the running version of a sick tummy.   It will all heal once I find balance and start to do more than a single sport thing.   I have to not be a one trick zombie.

I’ve come to realize that balance is the key to most everything.   Balance is what our bodies want.  When we eat too much, we feel sick.  Drink too much, we feel worse.  Exercise too much or too little we’re sore or sick.  Doing any of these once isn’t much of a problem, it’s when we do or don’t do them over the long term that the real trouble starts.    Long term, eating too much will cause weight gain which can lead to a host of issues.   Drinking too much – alcohol – will take you down a road to hell.   Exercising too little will catch up to you when you least expect it in the form of a heart attack or equally awful event.  Exercising too much – that’s right – zombie walking.

So, I’m committed to finding balance again.  I’ve resolved to do more Yoga and get back to strength training two or three times a week.   It’s amazing how pain and discomfort can motivate change.     In the meantime, maybe I’ll see what movies or TV shows need an aging zombie.  Hey if you’re going to be a one trick zombie you might as well make it pay- right?

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