There’s an old joke that goes – “how can you tell if someone’s vegan.  Don’t worry they’ll tell you”.  I totally get it.  When you’re into something, you want to share it with everyone.  Understandably, not everyone shares your enthusiasm.  So, at the risk of sounding like a reformed eater (of everything) please allow me to tell you about some of the known and less known benefits I’ve discovered from being lighter.  

First let me say that I have never lost this much weight in my life – 34 pounds and counting.  I’ve basically lost the equivalent of a toddler.  Remember when you had to carry your kid around a mall or amusement park – that got old real quick.  Yeah, 34 pounds is a lot of weight.   In fact, I’m shocked, shocked over the success of this plan.   When I set out on this journey last August I really didn’t have “weight loss” as my primary goal.  I was aiming to get into great shape, and I assumed it would include losing weight but had no real target in sight.  In fact, when I started, I really didn’t have a plan at all.   Now, I’d never set off on a trip without a destination in mind, and I don’t really recommend trying to get in shape without one either.  Without a plan I staggered around blindly for a while but after a bunch of reading and some trial and error, I stumbled upon a system that works for me.  

What helped me shed that small child worth of weight was a combination of exercise, portion control and timed eating.  I’ve written about my diet before so I won’t go into it now but if you’re interested you can read about it here.   Now that I’m well on the road, I have set a destination.   I’m not concerned about my weight as much as my total body fat.   Fat is the kind of stuff that can really gunk your system up and quite frankly I don’t want to lug it around.  I’d like to reduce the level of fat I’m carrying to just under 14% of my total body weight.  In those terms I have a fair way to go as I now have about 21%.   It’s not that exciting and I don’t think it’s going to be easy, but my real goal is still being physically fit.  

Now that I am much thinner than previous versions of me, I’ve discovered there are loads of benefits to being slim.  Among them are the health benefits such as reduced risk of heart disease, cancer, diabetes, and pretty much every other age-related ailment.  Sure, these are important, but they don’t compare to many of the lesser-known benefits that slimming down brings.     

The first benefit is cleaner shirts.   I can be a bit of a slob when I eat and I’m constantly spilling, dripping or drizzling food all over myself.   My beer gut provided the perfect ledge for every wayward item that didn’t make it into my gapping maw.   Like a helicopter landing pad on a hospital roof top, nothing missed my gut and specifically my shirts.  Now that I’m substantially lighter and the beer belly is extinct, I’m enjoying a much cleaner wardrobe.  I still spill stuff on a regular basis, that hasn’t changed, but now the wayward bits simply slide straight down and become snacks for Lola the dog.  The heli-pad has been decommissioned and there’s no longer a ledge for anything to land on hence cleaner shirts.  

Remember “low riding”?  It was that trend the cool young guys started whereby their pants would ride halfway down their asses.  Some hung down so loose I wondered how they stayed on at all.   Never mind that, I’m “in” now.  I’m one of the cool kids because basically all my pants are too big and if I let them, they’ll easily ride half-way down my ass.  Don’t call it plumber’s butt, no, I’m a “low rider”.  Boy, is it an attractive sight!  

If being a “low rider” weren’t enough I’m now having to buy pants in sizes I thought were reserved exclusively for teenagers.   I’d forgotten they even made them this size.   Talk about back to the future.  I’m basically wearing the same size pants I wore in high school….okay, maybe at the end of college but still…

With a lot less weight and a little more muscle I’ve stopped making “old man” sounds when I get in and out of my chair.  Getting up or down had become an effort to the point where I was making sounds without actually being aware of them – “old man” sounds.  If you don’t know what I’m talking about it’s that deep guttural groan that’s half exhaustion and half agony. For a while I thought the Lazy Boy needed oiling.  Now I realize it’s what happens when gravity meets fat.  Add to that a little less muscle and you have the recipe for Old Man sounds.   But with less weight the sounds have disappeared.  Now they only emerge when I’m working out hard and it feels like I’m about to collapse in a heap of loose flesh and grey hair.  Oh, the joys of getting older!

So, as you can see there are dozens of benefits of carrying less weight.   Am I being boastful? Well yes, I am but 34 pounds is kind of a big deal.  I encourage you to give it a shot.  If I can lose this many pounds, anyone can.  Drop some weight and you’ll discover your own benefits of the slim life.  Hey, with a little effort you too can be a low rider and won’t that be attractive.